Wednesday, December 21, 2011

The Nightmare Before Christmas

The estate sale this past weekend was a nightmare. A Christmas decoration nightmare. The little house in Ashland, MA was home to a elderly couple and a hoard of holiday decorations.
I guess this women was the type of person to go shopping the day after Christmas to get the deep discounts and stock up on next years supply. Wreaths seemed to be her thing. 

The wreaths were in various stages of completion. Most of the wreaths and wreath adornments were Christmas themed. There was an endless supply of mini pine cones, fake golden poinsettia, and spray snow. There wasn't really anything there that I had my eye on, but then I looked down....

My find of the week - A 9 foot braided rug, circular!

I remember when I had my own Christmas nightmare. Oddly enough it was the day before Easter and my twin sister, my cousin and I were at the mall.  This was the one time that my sister and cousin ganged up on me and I clearly remember them laughing at me for being so naive. They had told me that the Easter bunny wasn't real. I wailed through the parking lot and was heartbroken. I climbed into my mom's minivan with tears streaking my cheeks and burst out crying, "does that mean that Santa Claus isn't real either?!" Good Twin has a mean streak around Christmas she's always trying to ruin the surprise. Bad Twin's heart is warmed by the holiday spirit, or that could just be the Jameson, and gets a little sappy.

No better way to enjoy sap of the holidays than to go see a holiday show. Lucky me I went to two this week. The Slutcracker AND the Butcracker. NO relation. The Slutcracker was beautiful rather raunchy, tear jerking rather than a jerk off, and extra (butt) cheeky. Oliver Tryst, the nutcracker, did an electrifying pole dance.  I say get your ass to see these sluts! I'm going to make this one of my holiday traditions.

Only shows left are Christmas Eve and New Years Eve. 

At the Midway Cafe I saw the Buttcracker. 
What a show! 

This is Katya. She had her Krispy Kream and ate them too. 
I died laughing at her "Krispy Kream" donuts bag. 
See her at Jacques World Famous Cabaret
lip syncing to "I Will Survive" IN RUSSIAN! 

I love the holidays, especially when it's like 55 degrees out, there's lots of parties and over the top outfits to go along. 

I can't wait to show you the AMAZING dress I just bought for New Years!

Until then 
I hope you feel the spirit, 
maybe even get goosed! 

T H E   B A D   T W I N 

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